For Mascs & Men: Gift Ideas
Plus, a scrub-a-dub valentine for 5 lucky readers 💌
Toasting a pal’s 40th birthday at Wu’s Wonton King in Chinatown, we gaped at menu item L7: “Filet Sea Bass w. Loofah.” Fish with a shower loofah? Ha, hilarious mistranslation, right?
We were humbled to learn that loofah is actually an edible gourd, related to the cucumber. What?
Did y’all already know that loofahs are vegetables?!
I didn’t even know the word luffa came from a plant. The “loofahs” in my shower growing up were shiny pink plastic. Of course, as soon as I learned this factoid, I noticed it everywhere: Substackers growing loofahs in their backyards and pictures of the gourd as a hip menu item.
So when Floofah offered to send scrubbers made from the luffa plant and therefore biodegradable… I shamelessly asked about gifting Silky Crunch readers. And she said yes!
Do you want to scrub your body (or dishes) with a heart-shaped Floofah? We’re giving five away 💌
Share in the comments what you’d like to give or receive from today’s letter by Friday, February 7th. Five randomly selected US-based readers will receive this valentine 🫶
Heads up: this is not your indestructible Scrub Daddy. Floofah is meant to be used for 2+ months in the shower, or 4-6 weeks on dishes, before returning to earth. If no composting is available, you can dig a hole in the ground and bury it.
Over the holidays I read sooo many gift guides. The art of writing and reading gift ideas is a fascinating anthropological practice, and no hot take will ever make me feel bad about enjoying them!!
I also wrote four gift guides, and for whatever reason, my favorite was “5 gifts for men under $50.”
Hopefully today’s ideas are a lil sexier than that bathmat or long underwear.
Photo shoot: Outdoors. Photographer? You!
I’m obsessed with these sensual snaps of Noah Centineo by Sarah Bahbah.
Remember when we were younger and got our very first cameras? Grab your camera. Direct, compose, and caption some outdoor images!
Lately, I’ve noticed friends talking about working out the courage (and the body) to do a boudoir shoot à la Samantha from Sex and the City. More men than women though, lol.
Weird connection, but it reminded me of the time I eavesdropped on my grandma chatting with her friend. They talked for kind of a long time about their lightweight hemp burial outfits, the deets for the casket… you know, girl talk in your 90s. Boudoir shoots and funeral styling both feel a tad morbid to me. We accept that aging is inevitable, but long to preserve a sense of control over our image.
We won’t remember each other by a bare-all photo or the clothes we’re buried in, but of course, it can feel good to curate how we want to be remembered.
Personally, I want more candid photos of the mascs I love just living life, since they’re often behind the camera. What would you take a photo of your boo doing? Wouldn’t it be fun to add a caption like life is a movie?
I’ve been thinking about Celine Nguyen’s how to begin, and applying the “copying to learn” philosophy to create a captioned photography series.
Silky Crunch may earn some cents if you make a purchase through one of the links below.
A hand-carved comb 🪮
The internet is filled with plastic-coated brushes selling for a hundred bucks, but there are handmade heirlooms to be found for less than half that price.
This hand-carved, fish-shaped buffalo horn comb ($19) for the masc who loves to fish.
This folding yak horn comb ($19) has five star reviews.
A sandalwood wide tooth comb ($19) is better than anything you’ll find at Target.
A gorpy massage comb ($28) for curly hair and acu-pressure massages! Ships from UK.
Beard comb ($18) carved from South American Sucupira wood, also known as Brazilian chestnut.
For tighter curls, a pick-style comb ($23) carved from water buffalo.
For those with longer locks, this bamboo hair brush ($21) is entirely compostable.
The Minnesota-based seller ArakiCrafts also sells vintage, actual heirloom combs, which will make you wonder if anybody would buy anything you own on Etsy 30 years from now.
Seasonal Fruit Tasting 🍊
Cracking open perfectly ripe fruits in the dead of winter? So indulgent. Support small farmers while savoring vibrant flavors together.
If I lived in LA, I would love to taste this Peak Season Fruit Box ($80).
The Sister’s Choice Box ($40) of seasonal Californian citrus to cure the dreary February blues.
I sent a “large tropical fruit box” from Miami Fruit to my family in Seattle for Christmas. It didn’t arrive until mid Jan 🥲 Influenced by my aunt’s rare praise, I treated our household to a January pick-me-up…
I enjoyed nibbling on the cacao, noticing how the juicy fruit translates to a chocolate bar. My first time tasting fresh cacao! Nour felt it was too sour, but was enlivened by the dragonfruit and guava.
There’s a QR code to the ripening guide to learn the names and how to eat each fruit. Skip if you need it perfectly on time. It’ll say “overnight shipping” but it’s overnight when they feel like it. Keep an eye out for discount codes from sales!
A note about expensive produce: I’ve been shamed by friends who own Chanel bags for spending $60 on a box of warty Korean cucumbers. I don’t own any thousand-dollar bags because my idea of luxury is indulging in exquisite produce from small farmers. Live and let live!
No shade to designer bags, I would love one! Please send, lol.
Fancy Underpants 🩲
Sadly, underwear without any plastic (like elastane or spandex) is a luxury in today’s polyester world.
Since romance is about everything you want and nothing you need, how about some fancy underpants?
I would not be mad about red silk boxers ($88), or these with flirty keyhole sides ($88-220).
Check out the shorter length of these washable mulberry silk boxers ($40).
You may hunt for cheaper alternatives, but beware! Most “silky boxers” are made of satin polyester, which may affect testosterone levels in men. Always check the fabric content.
You can laugh but silk boxers are practical and feel so nice! And unlike plastic they won’t catch on fire when you’re sipping champagne on a bearskin rug by the firepla—
If the romance novel imagery is too corny for your sweetheart, how about smooth, bamboo lyocell? Nour says these CDLP boxers (95% lyocell, 5% elastane) are his favorites, and he’s very picky when it comes to underwear fabric. There’s currently a 3-pack on sale for $76.
Though his everyday underwear is Kirkland Signature (96% supima cotton, 4% spandex), $17 for 4 pairs.
Lastly, 100% Italian cotton poplin boxers ($95) cute enough to wear outside.
Precious Metals ⛓️
Jewelry for Valentine’s Day? Groundbreaking.
But how many men do you see wearing gifted jewelry? How many secretly pine for sparkle?
Fifteen years ago, I couldn’t take my eyes off this ginormous non-wedding ring in the movie Julie & Julia. That’s Paul Child’s actual turquoise ring on Stanley Tucci’s finger!
None of the American dudes I knew at the time (2009) wore rings, they were probably afraid it was “gay”. I remember thinking it looks so confident, what do you think?
I say men for this section. Masc lesbians are not afraid jewelry will make them gay 😂
A green turquoise and silver ring ($489) by Navajo artist Cooper Willie.
14K gold and silver onyx ring ($365) by Navajo artist Fritzon Toledo.
This sterling silver and gold, green onyx ring is on sale for $177 $590.
Bespoke bling: sizeless and stress-free ✨
Engraved, rhodium-plated cufflinks for $37.
How about these 18K, gold-plated Arabic letter cufflinks ($56)?
Customized cufflinks made of paper, metal, and glass for a reasonable price ($24+).
Bart from the costume design duo behind Babygirl told Vogue that a Figaro chain, to him, feels very New York.
Try as I might, the provenance of the exact chain remains unknown. This gold vermeil Figaro chain ($140) is similar, based on the width (3.9mm) and shape. The 22-inch would be closer to the length seen on Samuel.
If they’re new to necklaces, start out with a thinner chain around 3mm. Thicker ones might feel costumey for those unaccustomed to sporting a chain. This 3mm gold chain ($149) also comes in longer lengths up to 26 inches.
This delicate, sterling silver cable chain necklace ($155) or 2.5mm silver rope chain ($144) remind me of Connell from Normal People. His chain is shorter, closer around his neck. I’m guessing 18-20 inches.
Honorable mentions: function over form
We all know someone who loves a useful gift or rather, dislikes flowers and jewelry. Meat bouquets are a hit with this persona. If that’s your valentine, some utilitarian goods they might appreciate:
An organic pillow ($98) filled with natural fibers
Unisex moisturizer ($40) with refillable pods, which are cheaper and contain 70% less plastic
A curved, cactus leather card case ($95)
5 readers will get a Floofah in the mail! Easy peasy. Comment which gift you’d love to give or receive before 9AM EST on Friday, February 6th. I’ll pick readers at random on Friday and send a dm. Thanks Floofah!
Yay to Juliann, rs., Tori, Brittney, and Heba 🥰
You can shop gift ideas from this letter and more on ShopMy. Browse Coffee Makers (Where Coffee Doesn’t Touch Plastic) here, and gifts you can craft here.
Related:
gifts are hard, but this guide is so great 🤩 i want half of these for myself lol (silk boxers? fruit box??)
i particularly love the photoshoot idea - especially for someone shy who wouldn’t otherwise be self indulging in that way. a couple gifts i’ve recently given my SO that were big hits: a very comfortable sleep mask (he’s a very sleepy guy), and a rose quartz pendant that a local artist made with recycled copper electric wires. i was surprised at how thrilled my guy was with the necklace, it brings him joy even when worn hidden under his clothes.
I need to get my beau a hand-carved comb now!