An Intimate Debrief With 7 Substack Writers
"French tatas," matching undies with a spouse, and saying goodbye to Victoria's Secret
The question y’all asked after Would you buy one, plastic-free bra? was where are we buying our undies? And what styles?
Once upon a time, when I was 13 and my AIM was SeXxYfOsHo (I wish I was kidding), we all wore bedazzled G-strings. It was the Age of The Thong Song and low-rise flared jeans for girls, baggy boxers and Get Low for boys. And Lord of the Rings for all.
Now? I’ve worn high-coverage “granny panties” that come right below my belly button for almost twenty years. A turtleneck for my waist. Who’s still wearing that thong, thong thong thong thong?
Curious, I asked Substack writers I admire. What styles, colors, and brands? I was worried they’d be perved out, but most were game:
To break the ice, I’ll go first. If we’re hanging out, I’m probably wearing an orange Oddobody midrise brief ($26) in 100% organic cotton.
My friend recruited me during COVID to reach free shipping. It is now my everyday underwear! Somehow, the pairs from 2020 are still going strong.
Once, I put underwear on over my Oddoboddy underwear— I was wearing my bathrobe and not looking— because it felt like I was naked.
Runner-up: Before “fancy” 100% cotton, Everlane’s pima cotton hipster (3 for $36) was an annual purchase (92% cotton, 8% elastane). The elastic doesn’t cut off circulation where the leg meets the crotch area, known medically as the inguinal crease. It gets haggard after like one year though.
If I won the lottery: I’d try some exciting undies! Maybe the 92% silk Aaron Panty ($95) in Peekaboo Blue or Hummingbird Green plus the matching bras. Right now they’re having a blessed spring sale, but this style is not included 🥲
writes & 🐍
For whatever reason—maybe the ads in the '90s, the branding and how simple and overt it's always been—the only ones I've worn for at least two decades are the standard Calvin Kleins with the name on the waistband.
Whatever color, whatever's pattern—I'd say it's my longest and most strict brand loyalty. Health-wise I was looking to switch them out a few years ago. But they're all cotton—not bad!
writes 🎵
Record-setting folds: In my twenties when I lived in the Bronx, I would often go to Brooklyn on Fridays and end up staying the weekend. My old friend Salome suggested we go to First Saturday at the Brooklyn Museum and then sleep over her place, but I didn’t have an overnight bag. So I went to Target for some essentials, including a trusty pack of Hanes boxer briefs. As a single person who did laundry once a month, I would often buy underwear to avoid spending an evening at the laundromat. At the height of those days I think I folded over 40-50 pair of boxer briefs after a wash. I was a bit of a mess.
Brand discovery: During my mid-30’s I was starting over in life after a divorce. I couldn’t always afford cable or internet so I began listening to podcasts. After listening to several podcasts with MeUndies commercials, I began to consider them. It wasn’t until dating my now wife Casey, that I pulled the trigger and got us two pairs of matching trunks. The trunk fit became my go-to. They had the comfort of boxer briefs without going halfway down my thighs.
Spousal matching: Casey got us a monthly subscription of matching MeUndies and for a long time we wore the same pair every day. At work I when I would get a glance at my undies, I thought of her. When we were out at bars and hanging with our friends we would inevitably show everyone our matching underwear. We were disgustingly cute. After several years and too many underwear, we stopped the subscription. It was a bit sad.
Keeping cool: Today after a lengthy underwear adventure I’m settled into Bombas trunks. They are comfortable, soft, silky and breathable. I never feel swamp crotch in them. I can lounge or hike or spend hot days in the park, and I don’t feel like I have to peel them off when I get home. I’ll keep wearing them until I feel the breeze of change, or until a podcast convinces me to try another brand.
writes 🧥
Natural shape: After years of just underwire, I got on a bralette kick after I saw my incredibly chic friend Sophie wearing one under her sheer shirt in the summer. It gives you what I call “French tatas.” Natural, not in-your-face shape. When I asked her what it was, Sophie told me in her very glamorous Aussie drawl, “darling, it’s Cosabella.”
I’ve been wearing their Dolce bralette and matching thong ever since. I like the daintiness of the straps and lace of the cups.
Feeling sexy: Only Hearts is a New York brand founded in 1978 that still manufactures their products in the city. My sister turned me onto them a couple of years ago. I like the Whisper retro bralette and sweet nothings demi underwire bra with their high cut brief. There’s a lovely flimsiness to the fabric. Reminds me of Scarlett Johansson’s sheer underwear in the opening scene of Lost in Translation.
“Comfort” lingerie: For days when I want my body to feel cradled and supported. After being served Oddobody’s Instagram ads for what felt like years, I finally decided to give them a try. The string bikini lured me in, but I went with the mid-rise french cut. Just a simple, organic cotton brief in a shape that still makes me feel sexy. I especially like that Oddobody makes it easy for you to compost your old underwear. Just remove the elastic. I wish more brands would think their product’s end-of-life instead of just tossing the onus on consumers.
Shopping local: I stopped by Iris Lingerie in Brooklyn for a fitting. I was wanting a t-shirt bra. Iris sized me up instantly, and I left with the Chantelle C Jolie Comfort Convertible T-Shirt Bra. I’ve been trying to just shop locally this year because I like the experience of being out in the wild, talking with someone who’s an expert on their product, and keeping my money in the community. Iris will also repair a bra you’ve bought from her, if any issues arise.
writes 🍰
Holy-grail underwear: Cou Cou Intimates’ high rise (or Brazilian) for everyday wear and Dora Larsen for special occasions, like the clean tulle high waist, ideally with the matching bra – all the colors are great, but I'm really taken by Dolly, a bright lime green (unexpected for underwear!)
Both embrace sustainable and responsible production; the former aces nostalgic, comfortable, and feminine simplicity, and the latter is unmatched when it comes to color combinations and pieces that are super-playful yet sexy.
Favorite styles: I prefer bikini, cheeky, or thong styles and almost exclusively wear 100% cotton— except for my spicy lace or mesh panties and my hate-that-I-love-it Skims underwear (please don't come for me!).
Hot take: As much as I refuse to subscribe to the Kardashian empire, Kim K really did something with the Fits Everybody collection, specifically the dipped front thong and cheeky brief. I understand why they're a cult favorite, especially among stylists––they're super breathable, fit like a dream, and available in a range of skin tones.
writes ✨
Currently wearing: My favourite ones right now are Tencel undies by Underwear for Humanity, a small Australian brand (up to AU26).
On “sexy” lingerie: My undies are a far cry from what my teenage self thought I'd be wearing in my 30s. Alongside a corporate job and pencil skirts that echo Helly from “Severance,” I imagined that I'd be wearing "sexy" undies, in lace and satin. That usually means synthetics.
Take Agent Provocateur for example, the underwear around $100-150 USD are mostly made of polyamide, nylon and elastane. A cotton gusset doesn't cut it for me. I'm also not willing to risk recycled polyester. Yes I'm alluding to thrush, especially if you live in a hot and humid climate!
So it's often a compromise: between what we traditionally see as sexy or more akin to lingerie made of synthetic heavy materials vs. comfort-focused natural underwear that's considered frumpy, or the real deal luxe underwear made from silk that is rarely size inclusive and more expensive.
I think comfort-focused undies in natural materials can be sexy. It's all about the tactile experience of the fabric, your energy and how you feel in your body.
Other brands on my mind: bamboo undies by Origami Customs (gender and size inclusive), period panties by Aisle (up to 5X) and cotton undies in fun prints by Thunderpants (up to US 28). I'd love get bespoke lingerie in silk satin by Buttress and Snatch, made to order in their Hackney studio. I haven't bought from these brands (yet).
writes 📚
Underwear is one of the most important items we buy and it also does not matter how it looks as long as you like it and it keeps your intimate areas healthy. And sometimes you can eschew it all together!
Currently wearing: Two years ago a friend recommended Pact to me and I bought three pairs on sale. They were 100% cotton but also had lace trim and came in non neutral colors. I liked them, but even with their current Earth Day sale the price has gone up and I’m curious if there’s something else better out there.
Saying goodbye to Victoria’s Secret: In college and postgrad I was a devoted silky person both literally and figuratively. I wanted all the lacy, delicate types of underwear. Then I went to the doctor after a vaginal health issue and she converted me to the benefits of cotton underwear. It wasn’t a hard sell, an excruciating cyst was enough to convince me to try anything that might prevent it from coming back. I said goodbye to the Victoria’s Secret and random lingerie of my youth and switched to GAP and Calvin Klein which were fine but not particularly fun.
If money was no object: I would absolutely go with Commando or Negative Underwear but I’d like to hear from non-influencers before I take the plunge and spend more than $20 on a single pair of cotton underwear. I’m also not opposed to bamboo underwear but know nothing about it so now is your time to convince me in the comments.
Wishing us all the best of luck on this underclothing Silky Crunch journey.
writes 📣
Everyday pick: While rummaging through my underwear drawer, I realized I lean heavily on five-for-five deals. My favorites are from Aerie, which perfectly blends affordability with style. But don’t sleep on them! Some of their styles are definitely meant to be shown off.
Silky or Crunchy? I lean ‘crunchy’ when it comes to fabrics—thick cottons, structured lace, very little frill on the day-to-day—but I’m playful with color. Some of my favs: a white lacy cheeky style, a cotton maroon thong that is designed for accessibility, and an olive double-laced bikini cut.
Manifesting: In my not-so-far-away dream life, where I spend dimly lit nights in villas in the south of France, I’ll be lounging in this delicate floral set from Fleur du Mal, or eating dinner in a dress I definitely spent too much money on with this stunning lacy lavender La Perla set underneath. I’d also fill my drawers with expensive sets like this ornate 3D flower garter set from Agent Provocateur, just because I can.
But right now, I’m in an era— thanks to Silky Crunch—where I’m realizing it actually matters what fabrics I put on my body, especially on my most intimate parts. I do love a granny panty (justice for full coverage undies), so I’ve been eyeing this Quince set— 95% organic cotton, which we love.
A big thank you to all the contributing writers ❣️
So fascinating to learn how others choose underwear. I noticed we can be kind of sheepish about our choices— too frumpy, too sexy, not healthy, was it made ethically? It feels strange to reveal choices that aren’t usually perceived.
We’re surrounded by images of underwear-ing humans all the time, but they’re often models in ads, or actors on a screen. I’ve never seen someone in a tv show wearing a high-rise brief like me. So I was charmed by each story, and personally? I’ve resolved to become a bit more adventurous.
Now can we get intimate? What are you wearing?
Crunchy Mentions 🩲
These 100% cotton KENT boxers ($28) are fully compostable. Even the elastic is plant-based rubber, so you can bury it in the ground when you’re done. Nour likes how thin and light they are for working out. Be warned there’s no fly, even though there appears to be(!) in product photos. Sizes up to 3XL.
The Big Favorite V2 boxer briefs ($36) have de-throned CDLP for first place in Nour’s undies drawer! Thick 100% pima cotton, and the construction is like a great bra: supportive without smushing.
Fruit of the Loom 100% cotton panty ($22 for 10 pairs). Unfortunately, none of their plus-size options are more than 54% cotton, rude.
100% cotton Jockey plus-size underwear on Amazon ($24 for 3 pairs).
Archer Wren Riley underwear ($30) is a 92% cotton blend but the sizes go up to 6XL. Fun colors! I found out about this brand via the Big Undies newsletter.
got me perusing new underwear brands and listening to sisqó !
Just ordered an oddobody pair to try!